Glancing at the clock I noticed I still had a good 5 hours to go until it was time to head home. Still tired from yesterday, I had to do anything I could to keep myself awake. Deciding lunch might be the answer to my problem, I headed out in the downpour to retrieve my prize.

Ducking in Subway, I hopped in back of the line (people seem to get mad when I go to the front) and began to decide what I wanted. Since I get the same thing often, I really already knew what my meal would be but I was killing time, much like I'm doing at work right now.

I don't understand why but despite not getting out much lately, I tend to bear witness to lots of odd social situations. An older man, old enough to be gray and bend, young enough to still be sane (well, still should have been sane) was the person in front of me, who I watched curiously. He seemed at first engrossed in his boring (to me) real estate magazine but suddenly he became seemingly hyper and began to dance around somewhat. He'd stand normal then his foot would shoot behind him, tap, then come back and all was normal. Then the other foot would do it and he added a slight hop to the move. Needless to say, he dances better than I, but I never broke out in dance at Subway (that you'll hear about anyway).

Moving forward in the line, I listened to him tell the woman working what he wanted on his Veggie sub. He wanted everything except the peppers. Deciding to be bold (as I usually only get pickles and green peppers) I said "let met have what he's having on his, but give me peppers too". Not the veggie mind you, but I wanted all the toppings on my roasted chicken except hideous olives, which I pointed out to them (woe be the person who gives me olives). I had to turn around so I didn't see what all was going on there because I would not eat half the stuff if I knew it there. And, of course, I knew but I didn't see to confirm it, so apparently that was good enough for my clueless little brain.

I caught a look at the older man when I turned back around and he had gone from the spry dancer to that "my life is over, I'm so in debt!" look we all know, with his head in his hands, slightly holding up the front of his hair and on the verge of tears.

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you well. Did you want peppers on this?" the women politely asked.

The old man snapped like a war veteran. "...I said I want EVERYTHING BUT PEPPERS!," he yelled through a now twisted visage. He said it twice and went so far as to reach his gangly neck over the protective shield of the food to make sure she could hear him (needless to say I wasn't happy with his gums flapping menacingly over my food). He wasn't saying because he was trying to be helpful, he was saying it because he's an impatient jackass. He fell silent again and went into an even more "life has no meaning" look as he waited for her to not put peppers on his sandwich.

I was very close to telling them to put anything they wanted on my sub, as long as it was the exact opposite of what that freak was getting but I didn't. I was even closer to scolding the old man but I didn't want some incident with him clutching his heart, grabbing weakly at my neck, and sliding to the ground dead. I did have to control myself from laughing though. At least, slightly. I made it obvious I was laughing at him, because really his yelling was pretty unnecessary.

Now needless to say I've been unhappy when people make mistakes with my order, but normally it's after I have to head all the way back to the place rather than simply saying "no, no pickles". But when it happens, I'm calm and I understand. I give the people in the cutthroat world of food services some slack and just say "hey, I didn't want chitlins on this".

When I found out he was getting a free sub though, I wanted to make a scene. I've been going long enough to know the people up there, and vise versa, so I told the manager that "that girl over there" had been pushing my buttons, just ASSUMING she knew what I wanted to eat. SHE DON'T KNOW ME!

Didn't work and I wasn't really going to bum a free meal, though I'd have taken it (making sure they knew I was kidding, if so). He did take 2 dollars off my cost though, so that was something.

The funny part (I think) of the story, and the irony, is now. I had never eaten so much stuff on my sandwich and I was pretty surprised how much it took away from the taste of the chicken. In fact, I couldn't really taste it at all. That's when I put two and two together and realized I was chowing down on a veggie sub, which had obviously gotten mixed up with my actual sub. While disappointed because I had so looked forward to that sandwich, I couldn't help but laugh. In my mind I saw the old man sinking his dentures deep into the heart of his sandwich and reeling back in horror to discover he was eating meat. I ate my tasteless sub with a smile of satisfaction (until I sank into an olive, then I threw that thing across the room).

I got another laugh as I dropped the remains of the sandwich in the trash and saw what was on it. Stealthily tucked under the lettuce and by the olives, there innocently rested a huge stack of peppers =)

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