Standing in the dead back of an extremely long, twisting line at my college, I was filling out a detailed form to explain for the third time what classes I had already signed up and paid for. At my college, apparently they take those forms as just suggestions of what you would like to enroll for, sign you up for whatever they feel you should take, and pocket the money. Halfway through this form, the new person in the dead back, stumbling with his English, asked me very politely as best he could manage to borrow my "ink pen" (which was actually a pencil but I understand learning English isn't that simple). Shocked by the genuine politeness he expressed, I stood there with mouth agape until he just had to assume I wouldn't mind and picked the pencil up from the floor which had fallen from my hands after I had spread my fingers wide in surprise.

Many (many!) minutes pass after this brief encounter and we are now nearing the midway point of the line, when the man's wife and child arrive. I hate to be this blunt (at least, to you people whom I do not know) but both were rather unappealing to look at, the wife especially. But just because I wasn't lured to the wife as if by a siren to a rocky shore, that doesn't mean the man couldn't be.

The husband and wife begin to have a conversation, so I quickly duck out and let them have at it. I soon notice a menacing smell wafting through the air into my displeased nostrils. I look over from the corner of my eye and the woman is standing all close to me so I get a better look than my first glance. I learned something that moment; there is something to be said for brushing your teeth. Woman and child alike had very yellow to brown chops...chops which were far too close to me for my liking. The reason the wife was talking LOUD and talking HARD pretty much right in my face is beyond me, but the fact remains she was and due to non-brushed teeth, her breath held an undeniable resemblance to manure, if not plain, flat-out shit (hate to be blunt again but having to endure this 30 more minutes with no means of escape makes a man bitter and cynical). To add insult to injury (or something), moments later she lets out a huge Homer Simpson like burp (you know the one...where his lips ripple like the waves of the ocean) without missing a beat. She wasn't embarrassed, didn't say "excuse me", apologize for doing it in my grill, or even look around at all.

I've never had such an event actually happen to me. Sure, I deal with rude people a lot. I'm walking behind someone out of a door and not only do they not hold it for me, but they maneuver all fancy-like to slide through it with but an inch left to close so it slams on my face. To a lesser degree of rudeness, when I hold the door for someone and they don't say "thank you" or so much as glance in my direction. I deal with it commonly, but nothing so blatantly in my face (literally). Just a word of warning...I'm not a violent person, but if any of you ever do this to me, I'm going to punch you right in the face =)

...a lot

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