When I'm lounging around on the computer, I sometimes like to talk to friends of mine for entertainment purposes. My forum of choice for this communication is ICQ. Perhaps a program which some find a bit too complex upon first use when all they want to do is message people, it is likely the most popular (with good reason) program of the type. It has all the features (and more) I need to do what needs to get done (i.e. wasting time chatting) and lacks annoying 'features' that would cause me to absolutely despise using it.

While most of my sane friends use ICQ, one certain oddball uses AOL Instant Messenger while she is at work. Since she is about the only person online in the morning at the time I am (when I'm at work myself), I was forced to download AIM to speak with her (rather than her downloading ICQ...don't know how that happened). I wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea as the few dangerous brushes I've had with AOL (CD in the microwave disasters putting eyes out, trying to connect to it when at a friends house...I'm not sure which is more painful) were anything short of wondrous.

I sat there and stared at the program. Buddy list? What kind of freakish carnival name is that? I let it slide, as I do all the other (read: all) retarded things of AIM. After a bit, I can use it fine...I don't like it, but I can live having to use it a bit out of my day. I leave it running in case my friend wants to talk to me...

So I sit in my office, "hard" at work updating our website or printing fliers to put in the bathroom telling people to not leave urine splashed on the toilet seat, walls, or floor (this means you too, ladies!) when BOOM, a big box comes up with someone talking to me. Just pops up on its own, as if by magic! That's just a bit bold. Too bold. Popping up chat windows without even asking me? Who does it think it is? I can't count the times I've foolishly (I never learn) left AIM running as I ran out to lunch and come back with chat boxes all littered on my screen like when you try to unzip 40 files at once. With the boss having such easy access to my office (turn the handle, push the door...whack...er no, pull the door, enter), he could have very easily walked in to see all I do, evidently, is chat at work, which wouldn't be so bad in itself except that he'd lose all respect for me due to the fact I was using AIM. It's especially no good when one of the messages is from some spammer telling me how "I too can enjoy the forbidden pleasures of underage teenage butt sex!" and other such delicious offers. I said to myself, "Hey self, why don't you turn an away message on...even this primate of a messenger client must have it!". And so like the primative tools of early man, I found the Cro-Magnon shovel of AIM...the away feature. Boldness again. Making its own taskbar for my away message? HA! I don't even like to waste that desk tray space for the nappy little icon, let alone a whole big rectangle which takes up valuable space for other worthwhile taskbars, such as the entire history of women on pimpz.org or Winamp with the song from hamsterdance.com on a loop.

My final beef, though perhaps a small one, is the last I noticed...perhaps because I've only done the few things I've mentioned in this entry. I won't be touching any of the other buttons that don't send messages. Fed up with AIM boldness, the stupid icon, and the porn messages(or so I say!), I decided to close the program. Now, we've all grown up in windows with that big (or little) X in the top right doing the logical thing; closing the program. Well, apparently AOL in its great wisdom has rewritten the rules on us. The X now stands for "disconnect me from this chat program, but leave it open so that I may easily reconnect at my convenience". AOL: ushering in a new era of confusion to enrage the masses (or perhaps just me).

(note to AOL users...I love you, I just think your net provider has their head put in the wrong place)

devolve | evolve