A good while ago, perhaps about a year and a half, my good Polish friend and I decided to head to the local Panoply (which is a type of art show for those who don't know) to have a look around. My hunger, which had started well before we even went to the show, had began to take it's toll after we had been there an hour or two so I expressed to him that I'd like to stop an get some free cinnamon rolls, as I have connections at the place which sells them (and there was no way I would pay the crazy prices they set at the show).

A good 20 minutes passed as we walked around trying to find the stand, as it was an easter egg hunt like it is everytime I try and find it at an event. Finally arriving, we hopped into the back of the somewhat long line as I'm either too nice or too socially incompetent to pop to the side of the booth and talk to the people I know.

As I've mentioned before, I live in a place full or inbreeding and rednecks and surprising as it might be, they like to come out of the sheds even for art shows. Anything that happens in here draws "them" like salmonella to a kitchen countertop where young children are apt to eat apples off of.

For some unknown reason (besides it being fun and probably no doubt doing so to make myself feel a better person by using the childish technique of slamming others to boost my own low self-confidence) I always have the urge to turn my voice into that of a hilly-billy myself (and make a face with my teeth sticking out really far), perhaps to feel as if I fit in. I'll usually just speak gibberish in Alabamian to myself but if a friend is around, I speak to them.

Now normally I keep myself in check but this person was making a scene, though I don't remember exactly how, so I felt the need to mock them as they were acting foolish as I recall. I decided to teach them a lesson they'd not soon forget by taunting them secretly behind their back.

Without really thinking about it, I shifted modes to suit my mocking and turned around to my friend, got right in his face with my eyes slightly squinted and I bellowed out some nonsense with a large twang of country in my voice. Smiling to myself for my unsurpassed skill at faking the "language" (Redneck), I backed away from him...to see instead the face of a very shocked girl (about my age) staring back at me, eyes swollen to large proportions. Apparently my friend had decided to step out of line when I wasn't paying attention.

After recovering from her shock she, fittingly, burst out laughing and said quickly "it's okay!" all the while tears streaming down her face.

Talk about making an ass of myself. Not having a single comment to fix the situation (you wouldn't have either, don't fool yourself), I quickly turned around and faced forward in the line, not wishing to look in the eyes of this person any longer. She continued to laugh on, for which I can't blame her...I'm sure the look on my face added to the humor.

I was tempted to ask her out since I'd have been hard pressed to embarrass myself more but instead I followed my usual routine and chickened out =)

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