By some cruel whim of fate, I ran across this on some old tapes I was going through in a moment of boredom. And damn that fate. The emotional recollections are as strong as before. And even therapeutic conversation with a good friend (thanks again) of those memories (and much more) is unlikely to hold this dam that is about to burst.

I often feel I've been damned for mistakes of my earlier youth. And while I am ever regretful and apologetic, I also feel I've paid my dues tenfold. Karma, however, feels this is not the case. I seem to be on a path to atone for those sins of creating this future which was likely inevitable no matter my choices, but I believe I've wandered from that path I thought I had finally reached the end of, and blindfolded on top of it all. And my subtle, desperate cries for answers in innocent forms remain unanswered.

Over the past few years I've made great efforts to balance myself. But memories of things past and forgotten by others are strong winds in my life, and the narrow support on which I stand grows ever more unstable...

devolve | evolve