(Unentertaining chat begin...this one isn't meant to entertain but rather just vent, if it can be called that)

I don't know how it is that I manage to put off work as well as I do, but I tell you if there is anything I can do well, it's procrastinate. I've had a *huge* art project to work on for around two weeks now, which was due, oh, 4 hours ago and do you know how far I am? Barely even started. Being an art guy (though perhaps not good at it, I enjoy it) you might find it odd that I despise doing art assignments for college so terribly. Which I do. I hate them with all of my soul...especially my recent class. It's not even that I don't like the classes, because I do (though the teacher, who likes to thrust his ample crotch in my direction bothers me for obvious reasons...and I don't mean ample as a compliment...it's just, he's a big fella, not unlike a pre-subway Jared). I think it's just that when you're FORCED to be artsy when you don't feel like it, you just don't give a shit about what you are doing. At least, that is always the case with me. When I don't feel like doing something, I don't do it well. And while I guess that is a pretty bad way to approach pretty much everything, that's the way I do it. So I am forced to sit here and do a HUGE (20x30) collage that I don't want to do because

1) I hate collages

2) I don't feel like doing this sort of art at the moment

So naturally I'm displeased. Hopefully I'll get it done (along with the other I haven't completed) over the weekend, as I always claim I'll do yet it's something that never happens.

The artsy thing I DO feel like doing at the moment is learning how to work Macromedia's Flash program, which is in my opinion, one of (if not the) most excellent tools for web design. This is not the first time I've sat down to learn this visual ecstasy inducing behemoth. In fact, I have it down to a month ritual. Starting with Flash 3, I decided "Hey, I want to learn that" so I downloaded my 30 day trial and did all the tutorials and such...I read all the topics...and I played around and came up with various small and worthless tries at a few things. Basically what I do is just toy around and learn how to animate this, and add sound to that, and make a script for this...etc. Well, I do that for about a week and then I quit...not "hey, I'm sick of this", I just stop doing it. Next month rolls around and it's been JUST long enough that I've totally forgotten pretty much everything. So I have to do all the tutorials again, read all the help files, etc. Then I "rinse and repeat". That's bad enough but when I not only have to relearn all this, but a new version has come out (as has recently with Flash 5 which torments me as we speak) I'm really in trouble. Something like this is about as complex as I can get, then I stop and forget how to do everything. And as you can see, something of that nature doesn't do much good to anyone. So this time hopefully I'll stick with it as I'm very inspired recently to learn this. Part of that inspiration was a first time visit (after viewing a Tim Burton short skit they animated...(who is brilliant might I add)) to the very high quality and impressive Flinch.com. I think these guys have the right attitude. From looking at their webpage, you feel that they have a sense of humor, are laid back, and enjoy their job. And that is the way I've always felt it should be. I was always told "you need to get a job that makes you money" and while that is obviously true, I was also told that if you are miserable at your job, that's just the price you have to pay to make a living. I have to wonder why anyone would work themselves to death at college to get a high paying job if they hate it. I do know people like this. Recently myself I was going into something I wasn't pleased with, and when I realized it, I quickly dropped it. And as unhappy with some areas of my life that I may be, when I stopped doing something I hated and started on something I enjoyed, I felt so much better it was almost like I didn't have another care in the world. Do what you love people! If you aren't enjoying life, you're not living.

If any of you few out there do any Flash and have a website of your own with some of your work...or even have a favorite Flash page, DO throw it my way as looking at others stuff and trying to figure out how it was done is quite helpful to me.

devolve | evolve