There is little I like more than a good fortune cookie fortune. My favorite one I've ever received, which was likely the best a person could ever hope for, stated "your dearest wish will come true". I keep that one in my wallet in the little plastic sleeves that pictures go in, if that tells you how much I was pleased with that it. (Evidently, my 'dearest wish' isn't what I expected, since what I thought it was didn't come true).

While normally my fortune directly opposes my horoscope, I don't pay it much mind. I feel the fortune cookie is on a higher plane and therefore overwrites the lesser horoscope. Plus, I prefer getting my 'dearest wish' than 'suffering forever for your mistakes!'

Fortune cookie fortunes aren't without fault, however. Not unlike the U.S. Military, they have their off days. Since I rarely eat anywhere besides China Taste (the before mentioned "best Chinese this side of the Pacific"), I couldn't say if it was just a CT fortune cookie fortune problem or if it's a common issue. I have to assume it's just a common occurrence. I've received many pitiful fortunes in my day, from one stating I'll get a raise back when I didn't have a job (waaaay back in the good ole days) to the generic "you will make your own fortune today"...talk about lazy. I was hoping that one had instructions on how to go about 'making my own fortune' but all it had on the back was, of course, lucky numbers. Numbers that didn't win the lottery. Friday was no exception to the crappy fortune cookie fortune problem.

I have been helping my grandparents clean up their house so it doesn't crumble around them. It's a rather old home and it has quite a few problems which we are taking steps to fix; from a leaking roof to a rotting wall or two, it's got it all. Friday after work I had decided I was going to travel down there and knock down all the walls in their old garage, that years ago had been converted into an apartment (in which I lived in my childhood) which has long since fallen prey to the decay of time. We decided, since no one was going to be living there again, to get it cleaned out and remake it into the garage so that my grandparents wouldn't have to walk out in the rain to their cars. Knowing this would be an all day sort of job, I decided to stop on the way for a fine meal of Chinese cuisine, which I ate with much delight before heading off to do my chore.

I strolled in to the old apartment, ready to get some work done. Having pulled the panelling off already, I took a moment to study the now visible metal wall supports. Deciding the trusty sledgehammer was the tool I needed, I reared back like the god Thor ("AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH") before smiting down legions of his foes, when I remembered my unopened fortune cookie. As if a herald of doom to come, I read this dark proclamation on the paper within; "you are magnetic".

I had to assume the message didn't refer to my personality, because no one is stuck to me, that's for certain. Of course, I do seem to repel people so perhaps I'm just the same pole as everyone I actually want to be around. Har.

Needless to say, Norse god or not, I was very wary working that day. I barely evaded collapsing metal columns no fewer than seven times and nary challenged my fortune as I stopped my foot just short of being impaled by a nail so rusty, it no doubt would have caused my jaw to lock instantly.

While I was dismayed with this simplistic and unsatisfying fortune, I suppose I should be thankful that now I can be aware of the potential hazards that await me. Next time I see a speeding car seemingly swerve uncontrollable towards me, I'll be able to assume it's because I'm magnetic and not because an ex-girlfriend is driving the car. Of course, if an ex-girlfriend is behind the wheel, I'm as good as dead. Hopefully then my 'dearest wish' will come in to play; when I'm running from that car, screaming like a baby, while flailing my arms wildly about, my wish will be simply that no one saw me before I got mowed down.

clueless lyricist
I was speaking to my favorite Australian a day or two ago about music issues. We chatted about our connection to some sort of skill; mine guitar, her's vocal, and prattled on about playing in front of people, writing music, and other such related things in general. She posed to me the idea that, to get me out of my musical slum which I explained to her I was stuck in, we could try and do some work together. She'd write the music, I'd do the lyrics. Apparently she assumed I could form an engaging vocal part I guess because I manage to luckily end up putting punctuation, verbs and other such things together, on this page. I was nothing short of flattered by her faith in my writing and I hate that it happened but oh, how I shattered that faith.

It's been a while since I've attempted to write music and there's something very important I've learned when trying at it again; I'm not very good at it. I don't know if any amount of practice will improve that either. I'm going to guess that it'd be hard for me to write deep, meaningful lyrics when I get joy out of writing simply that people chew nasty gum. Riveting.

However, I do feel as I've come up with a few good concepts. Now I just need to send the good concepts to someone who can add good lyrics, unlike me. I'm sure I can get in plenty of practice between my classes. Decent way to kill time I guess but I'm not expecting anything ground-breaking.

On a similar yet unrelated note; anyone want to venture with me to see A Perfect Circle on Friday 16 in Nashville? =) Shows alone are a bore. Well, not a bore but not near as much fun.

devolve | evolve