As mentioned by a certain rhetoric (who, I must add, was nice enough to be discreet about some of the events that occurred and in the process saved himself from a taunting from the rounded armed, yet very non-round speaking, robot of doom...of course, only he knows what that means but I'm sure he's thankful), we ventured to the river this weekend to enjoy about 8.5 miles of kayaking. Just like the last time we went, it was cold (and indeed I know better than any person alive just how cold). And indeed it was muddy, and I know too just how muddy.

I'll save any talk about the owner of the kayaking place, who we had to suffer riding with four times now (though this time we didn't have to face him alone, thankfully...because we'd never have survived). I'll not talk about how he randomly says things out of nowhere. How he just happens to thrown in the comment that he is "prejudice, boys and girls". How he is such a prejudice person, but it a hardcore religious man. Hardcore in the fact that when he lived by the ocean, he's take his kids there at 4 in the morning to watch the sunrise (which isn't a bad thing until you get to the next part) and then make up religious tales for them. We won't even talk about how he said the "dirty Mexicans" messed up his clean river beyond repair.

What we will talk about is how many times I managed to end up in the mud. It all began at lunch. The banks were muddy, as you might well imagine (but you have NO IDEA just how muddy) and I didn't want to sit on the ground and get mud on my shorts if I could help it (heaven forbid). So I spotted a very nice looking log with which I could sit upon and enjoy my quite good sandwich. Food in hand I climbed up the little slope...and I felt my foot slip. Next thing I know, I'm horizontal in the air (not unlike in the cartoons, as mentioned by the lovely Sara, when they slip on a banana peel). For going in slow motion during the fall, I sure hit the ground solidly enough. Luckily I had the acumen to thrust my food skyward so at least I'd still be able to enjoy it. Of course, I couldn't eat for a good bit since I was too busy laughing. Rhetoric, while humored, wasn't as humored as I'd have been in such a situation (perhaps because he didn't see the crazy fall, but rather heard the sound then saw the aftermath). So I figured I needed to fall in the mud at least 4 more times, and top it off with falling out of my kayak. Sub-consciously of course. My sub-conscious, as I've mentioned, hates me.

The next big fall was due to the baby turtle we had found. He was such an entertaining little turtle that after we had left, we decided to turn around and see him again, this time building him a very fancy little sunbathing spot in the middle of a nice, warm, and shallow pond, which was away from the rest of the icy water. Midway back to the little island, going backwards as I was, I didn't see the branch in the water that we assumed was my downfall. I realized in dismay that the world had once again turned 90 degrees (and even 180 for a moment). And then I felt the cold water rush in on me. So cold in fact that I shrunk a good half a foot and was now about Rhetoric's height (bwahah). Luckily, the water was shallow (about up to my stomach) because otherwise, despite my life jacket which I'm surprised didn't shatter from the cold, I'd have drown. Top on the fact I couldn't breathe for a few seconds due to the immense freezingness, and it was just a mess. He found it humorous that time, as would I have had I not been in the water. I thought I might have lost all my items which were stored in my kayak (the rest of lunch, sadly) and the cooler with it but they managed to stay in, thankfully. Even my very smooth hat from the Bahama's that I only wear when I'm kayaking or at the beach, managed to remain, much to my delight.

Let me tell you "boy and girls", kayaks with water in them are heavy. They are hard to get out of the water, as you might imagine. They are even harder to get out of the water when one of you is on a bank about two times as muddy as the place you stopped at for lunch, and the other is walking very Frankenstein-like (so Rhetoric said, at least) in the water because there were no solid footholds.

On the way out from that little island with the turtle, I did indeed fall in the mud again. And several more times on the water to our destination. And I dare say, while I was freezing and my head had started to kill me, it wouldn't have been half as fun (to me anyway) without those little incidents. The sad part is that last time, the first time I'd ever kayaked, I didn't even come close to falling in (except when the previously mentioned person caused me to run into some overhanging branches which I ended up having to limbo under or fall in). This go around it seemed I fell whenever there was ample opportunity (and it was always ample). Some of the other people who were going to do with us, Sara and some female friends of ours, ended up not being able to make it. I dare say that is a good thing as I'd never have lived all this down. It was hard enough lying to the people back at the cabin why I was wet and had mud dried all on my face without my friends saying "har har he fell in the mud and in the water like two-billon times...honk". Can't wait until we go again =) Hopefully the water will be SLIGHTLY warmer this time around.

happy birthday
Happy Two Days Early Birthday to an old friend who I don't talk to anymore and I won't call because they won't want to hear from me. Have a good 22nd year. And a good life.

lateralus
One month from today (sadly not 2 days from now like originally planned). I'm pumped.

devolve | evolve