There is never reason enough to remind me. I don't need to be reminded. I remember; I know, every moment of my day, what distance means. It was far more foreign (and far more comfortable) when it was just meaningless numbers with meaningless places. Formless faces in a faceless mass. It is no wonder then, that your light caught my eye (it makes me feel as if I can almost touch you). And when I reach out to seize it, my hands falling inches from your waist, I realize what distance truly means. That those inches are miles too far.

You're right when you say I don't know the things I should know. My nose doesn't know the smell of your hair and therefore can't remember the things I want to look back on. My palms don't know the sweat between your skin and mine. Most would account that as a good thing to not know, yet I feel dirty that I've not been dampened by it. My cheek does not know the sweetness of your kisses, nor my brow the gentle caress of your perfect fingers. It occurs to me that I know little when I feel I can't know enough.

Though I am ignorant, that does not mean I know nothing at all. My ears know your tender voice, like I've heard it every second of my lifetime. My heart knows you. It knows that those mile-long inches between us should not be quite so vast. It knows that they should be lessening faster then they are. And it knows you're always what I've wanted and thought I could never have. My dreams know most of all. They do know your spine; your chin; your lips. Yet they tease me by forgetting when I wake.

Over the years I've learned to not take Fate lying down. Fate can be harsh and aggressive, yet it has respect for strength. I realize things change and bend in ways they wish not to bend. However, I never had reasons before to deny it. I've always been one of fluidity. One to blend motion to the movements of others. I've never cared to break the rhythm, never needed to oppose. But then I never knew you. I could never have imagined that there was someone worth any manner of chaos; someone would could restore my faith in the world and in myself. Someone worth any amount of effort.

Any effort. Anything just to run my fingers through your hair. To feel your slow breath on my neck as you sleep. To be reminded what love is; to know loves glory as we sit with legs entwined. To look forward together rather than behind alone. Alone has long since run out of reasons to be desired.

You seem fearful of things you should not be. I will never let your feet touch the water nor lay you out unused and forgotten. For why am I here if not to lift you above and wrap you around me. But I will tell you that we could have been something wonderful. Well, perhaps not exactly in that way. Rather, I would say "we will be something wonderful". Because we will.

(As I said, I long ago stopped going with the current to make my way to you. I won't let my arms grow weary if you will do the same).

I'm repetative and weak with words. I hope you forgive what cannot do you justice.

devolve | evolve