Hopefully this is the last time I'll have to speak of Wintergreen Girl, though I can't see her reign of slightly overweight terror ending any time in the near future. Just two small bits this time, really.

First off, the way our computer design lab is setup, we sit in a half-circle type formation. I'm in the middle, to my right is Wintergreen Girl, and to my left is MiscGirl who is important for this specific story. I'm sitting there, again in my own world, when a hear the sound of doom from my right; the rolling chair noise of an incoming Wintergreen (not unlike a charging bear). She stopped a mere foot from me and just sat there. I assumed she was just looking at my screen to see what I was up to, as is common, but no no, she had other plans in mind. After a moment she began to talk to MiscGirl, who as you may recall sits to the left of me. Well Wintergreen Girl apparently thought it was just fine if she talked directly through my head to her friend. That's right, through my head. At first I thought she was just playing, for what person would be bold enough to talk directly through someone's face, loudly and but a foot away. Well now we know. She just kept on yapping, the smell of 2000 Flushes wafting through the air as if on a fresh spring breeze. I, of course, finally had to break it down for her. I turned towards her with the "what the hell are you thinking?" facial expression, which is my best one I believe, and politely asked her "What are you thinking? Roll around me" at which point I threw my hands in the air (as if I didn't care) and got back to work. She seem perplexed that I had a problem with her talking via my ear canals but at least she was "kind" enough to move ever so slightly to her left.

The second thing is that I caught a bit of girl talk. I understand the point of girl talk and I have nothing against it, but man, say it where others can't hear you (let me clarify a bit since I realize that may have come off as completely bad...as was pointed out to me...if you have such conversations of the type that were being had this day, try to keep it somewhat discrete, if not for your sake, for mine...actually if you're not Wintergreen Girl, you can say whatever you want and it won't be a big deal...so in the end the point is "if you are her, don't say things like this"). This was on V-day; she and a friend (who sits to her right) were discussing men in general when she decided it would be a good idea to talk (loudly, of course, as is her trait) about the anatomy of her boyfriend. That's fine, I think to myself. That is until she turned to me and says something along the lines of "did you hear how big my boyfriend is?" Ick. First off, "whoopie, I'm impressed." Second, she then asks "so, what's your size?" No, that wasn't a typo. Not "what's your sign" but rather "size." I slept restless that night I tell you.

We won't get into the fact that she now jokes (oh, how I hope she jokes) about taking me into the bathroom and doing things that would cause me to leave blood-stained claw marks in the stone from trying to escape (she didn't say the blood-stained part but that was how I translated from Wintergreen language into my language). *shiver*

And finally, a note. If you happen to have a bellyring and want to show it off, and you think you are God's gift to the world but others don't think so (especially me), ask before you go and flash it 5 inches from my face. Please...I certainly understand the desire to show things like that off. I like to show my tattoo, but I don't just go ripping off my shirt and shoving my butt area into someone's face and say "hot, isn't it?" Apparently some people do though. Here's another bit of advice; you can, impossible though it may seem, show your bellyring off without almost exposing both your breasts and crotch area.

And if you do decided to pull aforementioned stunt on me, don't assume I got all hot over it and say (loudly) to your friends later how "he thinks I have a hot stomach...HEY DACH, I could be a bellydancer, couldn't I?" while moving your planet-sized hips in a (fittingly) orbital motion.

I have some faith left in humanity!
Well, I did it. I survived the hellish few weeks that was "Temptation Island". From the first commercial I saw about it, I said to myself "there is no way I can nor will watch that horrid show". Being a man of my word, I watched every single episode. It was not unlike crack, just much worse for the system. At least, much worse for mine. I'm an emotionally weak person when it comes to relationships, as I feel like I'm disposable (as past relationships have tried to show me) in that aspect. While I know deep down that's not true, I just can't look at myself and say "women dig me". So you think you can imagine what hell it is for me to watch 4 couples go through rough waters, even if they did foolishly push their own boat out to sea.

Seeing all the commercials for the last episode, I had heavily prepared myself to not watch it since, by the way the commercials were constructed, I anticipated all the couples to break-up. That would have totally shattered what little trust in people I have. To prevent this, I had a plate of food elegantly prepared (microwave) and a good book, ready to completely ignore the show. But then, I heard the bells toll (for me obviously). The "theme music" had kicked in and I had been snared. Jaw on the floor and drooling, I swiveled my chair around it and towards the TV while holding my fingers poised over my eyes, ready to dig. Much to my surprise, not a single couple broke up, though they did flail each other heavily with emotional, anvil-filled pillows before the end.

The host, who is the incarnation of all that is evil, was undoubtedly upset that none of them split up. As the final couple left the campfire, the scene darkened with him sitting silently with his head down and looking rather bleak in general. Some might claim in was relief, but I know better. I saw his visage brighten like a noon sun whenever a particularly hard blow would be landed on one of the couples.

As I discussed with a friend, if some of them had indeed broken up, would any of the new couples be able to trust each other? One person would have been almost the equivalent of a prostitute (but not quite), paid to try and destroy someone's relationship (and in our adult world, since people don't know how to keep their pants on, that apparently always means sex...hence the connection). The other, a person who left their long-time partner after "falling in love" with someone they'd known but a few days. I don't think I could trust any of them. But then, no one is paying me for my take on relationships, so hey.

devolve | evolve